There has been a great deal of confusion over the years about touching and holding babies, which parallels the confusion many rebirthers experience about touching or not touching their clients. I am writing this article in an attempt to help clear up this confusion. After attending the Association of Pre and Perinatal Psychology and Health Congress in San Francisco, I found myself full of new research information and new ideas on this topic which is very relevant to the worldwide rebirthing movement.
Until recently, it was generally believed in 20th century western medical circles that touching and holding a baby could "spoil" the infant, i.e. indulge his/her weaker sides, thereby creating a self-centered, narcissistic child. This belief system encouraged young mothers to allow their newborn babies to be taken away at birth, separated, put in a nursery or an incubator (often unnecessarily), and or to let their crying child "cry it out" rather than pick up the baby, hold it, and give it the physical affection it desperately needed.
Of course, in so-called primitive societies, the reverse practice was long-held. In Bali I heard stories of the newborn baby who is not allowed to touch the ground for many months, passed around among the extended family, easing the transition from Heaven to Earth. In Tibet, before the Chinese occupation, having a baby was a profoundly spiritual experience. Ancient texts advised the mother and father to practice specific holy rituals beginning before conception, continuing during pregnancy and, upon delivery, to hold the child close to heart. (Since the Chinese occupation, birth has become a horrendous ordeal for Tibetan mothers.)
Studies show that lack of touching can cause deep pain and anguish in a child, even death. Frederick the Great once isolated 100 newborn babies. He wanted to see what language they would develop if they weren't exposed to any language. The children were housed well, kept warm, fed well, but neither spoken to nor ever held. Unfortunately, Frederick never found out what language these babies would evolve because all 100 died from lack of touching. As recently as the early part of the 20th century, 90% of children in some orphanages died from lack of touching. New studies indicate that the combination of birth complication plus lack of touching can create a greater risk of violence among teenagers. Once Mallie and I had a 70 year old woman in a training who had no memory of ever being touched. Her body was aching for holding. It was a miracle she was still alive.
Touching and holding a new born is probably the single-most important factor in helping a child recover from birth trauma. Infant psychiatrist and bodyworkers are now becoming aware of this touch therapy and, inspired by the pioneering work of Dr. William Emerson, are helping newborns rebirth their negative birth memories out of their body before they create lifelong patterns. I like to call this work "preventive rebirthing."
When rebirthers are rebirthing clients, often the client wants to be held. In most professional training, rebirthers are discouraged from touching and holding their clients because such interaction can interfere with the purity of the process. But the rebirther is rarely taught how to process the need to be touched, both in him/herself and the client. When a client is wanting physical contact, it is almost always because he/she has been deprived of such contact in the past, going all the way back to birth. The rebirther's work, once this awareness is attained, is to support the client in completing the deep grief of not having been touched, especially immediately after delivery. The first few hours are when the infant needs the most physical reassurance. In addition, the rebirther should support the client in finding a birth-conscious bodyworker who can give the person the gentle, loving, non-sexual touching his or her body is crying for. And finally, the rebirther needs to see if such bodywork would be appropriate for him/herself.
All this gives new meaning to the phrase "Reach out and touch someone." Caress your partner. Hug your friends. Touch your children. Hold them when they cry. Try to cradle them when they scream. Read the book Tears and Tantrums by Aletha Solter. And, if you have aging parents as Mallie and I do, reach out and hug them close to you. For they are in the infancy of life yet again and god knows how long we will have them to hold.

Bob Mandel is the author of Open Heart Therapy and Birth & Relationships and is a well-known Rebirther Trainer.